Rant Warning: Turn Back!
So, after a month or so of London-like weather, it’s in the mid-nineties today in NYC. I’ll come right out and say it, I can’t stand the friggin summer. I hate sweating, and humidity makes me just plain nasty. I do, however, like the summer fashions wink, wink.
There’s no quicker way to get yelled at by the special lady in your life than getting caught admiring the female form too intently. I can understand to a point, but I really can’t imagine getting mad at my sweetie for innocent looks. If someone of the opposite sex is in good shape and wearing revealing clothes, how exactly is a warm-blooded post-pubescent not supposed to be interested in taking a gander? Let’s be realistic, a guy looking at a girl in a halter top walking down Broadway on a hot day has no thoughts what-so-ever that they are somehow going to wind up meeting or dating the person. They just find them attractive.
I have a beautiful girlfriend who is a wonderful, supporting person. I’m completely satisfied and not looking for anyone else. But I do look
(I’ll let you know if I sleep on the couch tonight)
While I’m on the subject, Gothamist
has a post today on street harrassment
that I don’t agree with at all. As is all too common, they (and the militants
they link to) lump anyone who says anything to a women on the street into the same bucket. I can totally understand that no one, female or male for that matter, should be verbally abused on the street or should have their personal space invaded. That said, I don’t think you can equate someone saying “Hey, Gorgeous” to someone they think is attractive with someone saying “Hey *((&(, damn you look hot”. Doing so tars decent guys who might actually hope to meet someone in what might be considered a naive or inelegant manner with the same brush as someone who is being brutishly aggressive because of their own issues.
Of course, some will counter that anyone trying to meet people by saying “Hey, Baby” on the street is wasting their time. I’d agree, if I hadn’t seen much cruder statements succeed many a time. In fact, I’ve seen the story enough times that I’m not even flabbergasted anymore:
- Boy shouts something rude at a girl.
- Girl stops to yell at boy for his rude statement.
- Boy strikes up conversation with the Girl.
- Boy walks away with Girl’s number.
I know what you’re thinking. Those girls must have been hood rats or something. To be honest, in most cases they were. However, I’ve seen even friends of mine who I consider intelligent thoughtful people become interested in guys who could charitably be described as neanderthals. Generally these guys were young guys in great shape (and often wearing wife beaters…hey, wait a minute). Again, I’m not nearly as surprised now-a-days.
Even Blossom (my one and only reader) likes the roughnecks!
Admittedly, I’m not the type of guy to yell at a passerby on the street. I can’t even imagine doing it. When I was single, I was the type of guy who introduced himself politely, asked a girl about her interests and tried to find common ground. To be honest, it worked a lot less often than the “Hey, Baby” method. Then again I wasn’t chiseled and wearing a wife beater.
One of my high school friends was notorious for saying rude sexual things to groups of girls he’d just met. I’ve seen him get slapped, get cursed at, and even almost get beaten up by another friend who didn’t appreciate the topics of conversation he chose. But I’ve also seen him meet beautiful, really cool girls. Several of them turned into long term relationships.
Often I’d spend a chunk of a night talking to a girl I’d just met only to have him stroll up, say something rude, and wind up taking the girl home. I don’t understand it, and I’m not going to do it, but it’s unrealistic to think he’d change the behavior that was so sucessful for him. It’s also unrealistic to categorize him as anti-women.
Definitely check out the Street Harassment Project
(the aforementioned militants) site, for gems like:
Great inclusive statement, I’m thinking of making a donation. Or here’s another illuminating line from their belief statement
We realize that some women do not consider to be harassment what we consider to be harassment. While we recognize every woman’s right to define for herself what she considers “harassment,” we are cognizant of the fact that all women are continually being intimidated into “playing along to get along,” as well as being constantly pressured to prove–even to ourselves–that we are “attractive.” We do not forget that this is a game in which men set the terms and women are punished if we do not comply.
Great, so only women are pressed into the pressure of the appearances game. A game in which men set the rules. Now, I’ve never been a woman, so I can’t understand their struggle. But the idea that men aren’t judged by appearances, or that men are the ones who are solely responsible for our society’s superficialness must have been written by someone who has never been a chubby guy with acne.
Personally, I subscribe to another credo:
- Generalizations are only generally helpful.
- People should be able to do anything they like, as long as they don’t interfere with other people’s right to do what they want
- Inclusiveness is almost always better than exclusiveness.
I may have to start my own “.org”.
Jeez, the heat must be effecting me… no more rants, lists or run on sentences for today! Probably.