One of the things I miss most about my grandmother Nancy is the little talks we used to have. Sometimes, after a long day working two jobs, she would come home and sit down as if she was letting the air out of herself. As a young boy, I was full of energy and I couldn’t understand exactly how she felt. I understand more and more every day.
Sometimes, after a bit, we would talk. Regardless of my age, she always spoke about life to me as if I were a peer or at the very least someone who needed no artificial sweetening or dumbing down of the harsh vagaries of life. One of the things she always used to tell me was*:
People can’t hide who they really are. If a moment of truth comes and someone shows you who they really are, don’t ignore it or try to convince yourself it never happened. Trust them and thank them for the knowledge they are giving you, good or bad.
It’s something I’ve always tried to take to heart, even if it’s sometimes hard.
*I’m treating this as a quote, but I’m paraphrasing.
64 days ago
I fell down a flight of stairs
and I argued with myself
as I fell through the air
I landed on my face
and stood up without any pain
but I cried inside myself
because I hoped that I’d be slain
this world is full of tiny hurts
they build up just like snow balls
and I prayed that all that suffering
would stop once and for all
each morning when I awake
and see the edge of a new day
I think back to that moment
all my pain seemed to fall away
and I hope there’ll be another chance
to end this endless suffering
I plead to anyone listening
can’t you see me suffering?
can’t you see me suffering?
We had a fun day sledding in Fort Greene Park yesterday. One of the highlights was seeing the menagerie of snowmen that were being built. As an admitted Star Wars fanatic, this was definitely my favorite:
I asked him to build an AT-AT walker, but I didn’t come back to check on it.
My friend Jarl wrote and recorded a song for a Swedish punk rock contest. He sent me an email seeing if I would like to write some lyrics and record some vocals for the song. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to work on the song until last Sunday morning…the date when the songs were due! I wrote and recorded this in about an hour and a half. It’s not the cleverest lyric, the most sublime verse, the solo isn’t great and it’s not even very tuneful, but I’m happy with it for 90 minutes of work. It was also fun because it’s a different style than I normally go for.
Jarl did the official mix, but here’s my mix for your enjoyment.
Seems like yesterday
we were the best of friends
now that that’s over
I refuse to pretend.
I’m sick and tired
of you pointing out my flaws
Gonna march to my own beat
I’m standing up against your laws
I can’t carry you
my life’s already too heavy
I’m barely treading water
Can’t have you treading on me
baby, yeah you’re treading on me
Can’t you se…
You’re treading on me!
You’re always miserable
you seem to hate most everything
you get no pleasure from life
you even hate when birds sing
you’re tired and cranky
an old man at just 29
you wasted your whole life
I won’t let you waste mine.