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July 5, 2005
Subway Diaries-Entry #1
Subway Soundtrack
Album: Be
Artist: Common
Tuesday July 5, 2005
7:33:
Jump in the dollar cab-I'm miserable as ever. I'm missin' my baby and I'm wishin'that instead of crammin' myself into this boat with a bunch of strangers, I could be layin' up somewhere with him. But, this is the real world and I got bills to pay, so...I do what I gotta do; hold my breath and enjoy the ride...
I say good morning to the cabbie and he doesn't respond, which hurts my feelings. (Why the hell did I say anything?) I sit in the front seat; thankful that I'm the only one in the car so far. I savor the few moments of luxury I can enjoy before I'm squished between the cabbie with the questionable odor and some fat chick with sweaty skin pressed up against mine. And what do you know...Slam! My body goes flying into the dashboard as he pulls over to pick up Ms. Fatty in lime green. "G'mornin!" she bellows, plouging her big behind into mine.
7:45 am:
I descend into the abyss of the New York City subway-Flatbush Avenue. The number 5 express. I press play on my cd discman as soon as I'm underground and move along the platform to a spot where it's less crowded. No such thing...the masses begin to swarm like bees, trying to be the first in line to get a seat. I turn up the volume...on my Common Cd; it helps tune out the noise and chaos, and helps me avoid all the nosy women ice-grilling me, sizing me up (but trying to pretend that there not).
"dum da dum da dum da dum...dum da dum da dum da dum..." The train is creeping up to the stop and the competition for the good seats is stiff. The lady beside me has her sneakers on and she's warming up-I brace myself, and pray that the car stops right smack in front of me. It does! I get my seat right beside the door and shortly after I sit down some nasty old pervert in an ugly green suit sits directly in front of me. His shifty eyes linger a little too long where they don't belong. I look up at his hungry eyes and cavernous grin, and pull my sweater tightly around my chest, to cover myself. (Aint no free show here!) Trying to avoid his glare, I meet the unkind eyes of a well coiffed woman in her late 20's who looks me up and down with scorn, as though I've eaten her first born. I give her the dirtiest look I can muster and pray that my face doesn't stay that way.
I turn the volume up and flip through the AM.news to see what's new in the world. Figures! Same shit different day...ugggh! It's so frustrating to see all that bad news in the world...and why is the article about the AIDS crisis in developing Asian countries all the way on the back page, while "Whose Hair is it anyway?" is considered buzz worthy?
The Common cd plays on-and the first song, "Be" is quite inspiring...but something is interfering with my listening pleasure. It sounds like somebody howling...I look to the left, and the right of me, and don't see anything. But the noise is getting louder. That's when I see her. It's an old woman, who looks like Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son, in a bright blue church dress, gripping onto the subway pole, bouncing up and down and testifying! Why the hell do all the preachers seem to find the car I'm in, and end up preaching right in front of me? Man, she's loud...she sounds like a wounded coyote. The trains is quite crowded now too-I feel sorry for the man who's standing next to her. He can't go anywhere either because he's wearing leg braces. ( I should have offered him my seat-I know...) perhaps my soul does need saving. Anyway...the woman has ruined the commute for all of us-and I can't bear it anymore. I turn my cd up loud; thank God for Common this morning. "Be" says what I'm thinking, but it's just too damn early in the morning to articulate...
"I wanna be as free as the spirits of those who left; I'm talkin, Malcom, Coltrane, my man Yusef..through death through conception, new breath and ressurection...
Bush pushin' lies...
We got arms, but won't reach for the skies...waitin' for the Lord to rise, I look into my daughter's eyes and realize that I'm gon learn through her...the Messiah might even return through her, if I'm a do it, I gotta change the world through her...
Walk like warriors, we were never told to run...
never lookin' back, or too far in front of me, the present is a gift, and I just wanna BE." ( I realize that I couldn't quote the entire song here, but I've written what is most relevant to me)
Common is the posterchild for reinvention and resurrection-of "being". From his politics to his music, his fashion...his personality, and lyrical style...he has definetely returned to where his soul begun, and that is why this album is important to me, and why I've chosen to include it in my subway soundtrack series. I can relate.
Like Common, I feel like I have come full circle, been through many changes, and I have been reborn. I wear all my experiences like a security blanket-it comforts me, keeps me warm and protects me. I don't regret anything I've gone through, I won't look back, and welcome the future with open arms, I'm not afraid of it.
I've added "Be" to the subway soundtrack series because I feel that this song speaks to those of us who find it difficult to live in this age of political instability, and increasing violence. The world has changed drastically and it's easy to get frustrated and internalize the chaos that is life these days. My politics change from day to day and I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown everytime I read the news. Sometimes, I don't know where to focus my anger and resentment, and it seems that the people, and the situations that I lash out at are not the ones who deserve my rage, like the poor old lady in the blue dress I nearly pushed out of the train this morning. She was venting in her own way. I can relate.
Discrimination, wars, suffering and the politics that control our lives will never go away; all we can do is "Be" and as track number four (my next favorite song-background vocals by John Mayer, guitarist and lyricist extraordinaire)says, and on the count of three...Go! Go! Go! and everybody run back to your fantasy:-)It's what keeps us alive!
And finally, if you haven't copped the album-Do so, immediately!
Thanks for listening.
Posted by renee at July 5, 2005 9:19 AM
Comments
Excellent choice for a soundtrack.
Posted by: Zack at August 14, 2005 4:38 AM